I came upon this story today – and thought it most fitting for the Christmas season.

Sometimes, we worry about having ‘the best’ or the most. I see a good deal of comparing going on right now, particularly as we look to be sure each person on our Christmas list received the ‘right’ gift or we spent the same amount or each child got the same number of gifts to open.

I’m curious about what you might see in the following story…are you focused on the ‘cup’ or on what it contains? Let me hear from you on this!

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests tea, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of tea and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the tea.

After all the students had a cup of tea in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the tea. In most cases, it’s just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was tea, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other’s cups.”

Now consider this: Life is the tea, and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the tea.

Savor the tea, not the cups! The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. They have decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

I have just spent over an hour deleting emails for ‘Cyber Monday’! I delight now to take a moment to step away from all the screaming sales and chat with you!

I find it disturbing, all the noise around saving money, saving time, pick my store, buy between 1:04 a.m. and 3:07 a.m. for the best deals. Ah, it goes on and on!

What interests me is this – IF stores and on-line can afford to slash their prices so much in these few hours – to lure us into buying, why can’t they reduce their prices to sell as much during the remaining 310 days of the year? Sorry, I just don’t get it!

And why do we wait until they have blasted us for the 45 or so days leading to Black Friday and Cyber Monday to patronize their stores or websites? Have we empowered the commercial market to entice us in this way? Or – have they brainwashed us by these few extraordinary shopping ‘savings’ to draw us into something more? I know not which it is!

Here are the questions I ask myself as I peruse the magnitude of screaming sales…IF you are tempted to make this purchase, Coach, would you purchase it if it were not on sale? IF you decide to release your dollars to the sales person, are you making an investment? Is this a ‘want’ or a ‘need’? Set it down – walk around – go back to it. Now that my mind is quiet, I can take another look to see the answers to my questions: Yes, I would make this purchase if it weren’t on sale. Or, no, the only reason I am considering it is because of the price. Yes, it is an investment (you can answer this even it if is a gift – you may be investing in love, friendship, support, etc.). Or, no, I don’t see the value-added in this purchase. Yes, it is a ‘want’ (or ‘need’). Or I’m not really sure which it is. Finally, is this purchase an instant gratification or something that will bring joy long past the season?

Will I buy on this Cyber Monday? Perhaps, perhaps not! I do know that what I choose to spend my money energy on will be without later regrets, with a quiet mind and without anyone or any ads screaming at me.

I encourage you to step away, get some air, quiet your mind.
In doing so, I hope your Cyber Monday will be as peaceful and joyful as mine.

This is the time of year when many people take a moment to reflect, a moment of grace and gratitude. I am grateful that I live in America. I think that is forefront on my mind now, with the horrific events that plague our world.

I live in Colorado Springs – a very military town – and I am even more aware of the brave men and women who protect our borders. They serve us, not only in the United States, but also leave home and risk their lives for those who live in countries in crisis.

I am grateful that my niece and nephew-in-law were safe from the terror in Paris. They had just returned from their honeymoon in France. I pray the people of France remain vigilant and strong as they mourn the loss of so many innocent lives.

I give thanks for my family. From my 94 year old Mother, who is in overall wonderful health, to my newborn great-grand daughter, only 1 day old. I am blessed with an incredible family of caring, loving, supporting and giving family of sisters, sons, grand-children, nieces and nephews and the devoted extended family each of them has brought into our family unit – into our circle of love. We feel the loss of our Dad – the patriarch and the one by whom all of us continue to ask the question: What would Dad (or Grandpa) do? We miss our beloved little sister, Lori. We gave her back to the Lord much too soon for our liking. She inspired us with her talents and love of life and I know we all talk with her often through our prayers. And Dan, my dearly loved brother-in-law, who was the big brother I never had.

My best friend and roommate of over 25 years is my daily inspiration and motivation. She is my business partner; she keeps me on track and pretty much out of trouble! She is my shoulder to cry on and my fun-buddy.

I am blessed with good health, a safe home and a supportive community. I have a good education and am retired from a corporate job that taught me so much. I have friends to support me in my life and dreams.

A time of gratitude. A time of thankfulness. A time of quiet reflection and appreciation for blessings. And a time for one request – peace in your heart and in our world.

That is a pretty powerful statement – ‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear’.

What I hear you saying now goes something like this: No, Coach! It’s not really fear! I can tell you what it is. It is not the right time, or it is too expensive, or too hard, or I’m not smart enough…
Does this sound familiar?

Stay with me on this, for just a moment. Let’s take a look at what fear really is. Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by something that exists in itself, actually or potentially, concretely or abstractly, physically or not. This causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing. The fear response arises from the perception of danger or the unknown. Fear is a general term and simply implies anxiety and usually loss of courage.

Ok – that is more technical than this Coach normally writes; nevertheless, it is critical to understand what is this thing called ‘fear’ that is getting in the way of you achieving all you desire in this life.

Fear is an emotion – one that many of us prefer not to express! Being the very creative and innovative people we are, we have fashioned other ways of expressing our fear of moving forward – aka ‘excuses’! Now I realize it is sometimes challenging set aside that fear emotional experience with which we have become so comfortable; then again, I would ask: How has that been working for you? What if, for just a moment, we acknowledge the fear emotion for what it really is – an emotion, a state of feeling; a conscious mental reaction. And guess what! Fear is not the only emotion – there is joy, fulfillment, delight, passion, belief…

OK. You have this ‘fear emotion’. And, now Coach asks the question: which is more interesting to you: staying where you are with your fear emotion, or looking at the possibility of creating an action that will take you one step closer to your joy emotion, to fulfillment emotion in your dreams and goals? Which is more interesting to you?

The life you want to live, the person you want to be, the legacy you want to leave is right there…on the other side of the fear emotion. Are you ready…are you willing?

What would it be like to experience with clarity, focus, ease and gratitude all the things that make this life the one you want to live? Connect with me – together, we will take that first small sweet step to the other side of fear.

Change is a word that often brings a sense of fear to folks. I don’t think I ever quite understood that. Change, for me is a curiosity – a thought of all the possibilities. Oh, don’t get me wrong! There have certainly been changes in my life that have caused me dread, alarm and panic!

Nevertheless, once I step back and have a moment to see the circumstance rationally, 98% of the time, I am able to shift from ‘fear’ to ‘curious’ – a much more exciting place to be!

In the past four months I have taken the opportunity to bring into play changes that make my head spin as I reflect on what has transpired!

In June, I exited the corporate world, a company I had called ‘home’ for 20 years and a position I loved. What comes with this is losing daily touch with the family I had come to know and some that I had pretty much raised! Change in relationships.

In July, I officially retired. Retirement…sounds lovely! Yes, shifting from one daily routine to something new, something I choose – that is exciting! Creating that new and much less structured routine was an experiment in will-power! I must also mention that in July, our house was on the market and sold – so good news is we have a sale…not so good news is we have no place to go! July was also when my eldest son became critically ill (near death) and a sudden trip to Louisiana was arranged. Thankfully, he has pulled through and returned home in September. The end of July brought one more trip – to Colorado Springs in hopes of finding a home.

Ahh…the ‘dog days of August’… normally a time to relax in the sun and laze in the last days of summer. Not this year! Not for me! August brings more moving boxes, more packing and creating final memories of California. My sisters arrive from Illinois to support my journey to Colorado. Pack the moving van, pack the cars, final good-byes and off we go. Two days driving with two cars, four women and three cats – now that is an adventure! Three weeks at an extended-stay while my best-friend/roommate and I settle into Colorado living preparing for our house to close. I am wondering when the time comes for what I had dreamed retirement would look like!

No ‘retiring’ in September either! Now we have 190 boxes to unpack, find a place for our treasures – some found their way to a new Goodwill box – furnish rooms and discover our new neighborhood. Where to shop? What are the Colorado rules of the road? What do I need to do to get a new driver’s license and license plates? Oh, I need to register to vote. Who is my new doctor and where the heck is her office? Take a breath…take a look around…

It is now October. The leaves are changing and the weather is chilled. I am creating a new routine – rise in the morning, relaxing breakfast and head to my home-office. Write on my website, update and create new programs to support others in their journey, reach out to new clients and discover my new State and all it has to offer.

It was not chance that created this dream I am now living. It was my dear friend ‘change’. It is the choices I make, the friends and family and even strangers who encourage and support me. Life gets better by change – by making the choice and facing the challenge. By dreaming the dream and creating the possibilities.

Go ahead – – you can do it – – life is beautiful!