Monica J. Griffith

Monthly Archives: October 2015

The other side of fear 102215

That is a pretty powerful statement – ‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear’.

What I hear you saying now goes something like this: No, Coach! It’s not really fear! I can tell you what it is. It is not the right time, or it is too expensive, or too hard, or I’m not smart enough…
Does this sound familiar?

Stay with me on this, for just a moment. Let’s take a look at what fear really is. Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by something that exists in itself, actually or potentially, concretely or abstractly, physically or not. This causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing. The fear response arises from the perception of danger or the unknown. Fear is a general term and simply implies anxiety and usually loss of courage.

Ok – that is more technical than this Coach normally writes; nevertheless, it is critical to understand what is this thing called ‘fear’ that is getting in the way of you achieving all you desire in this life.

Fear is an emotion – one that many of us prefer not to express! Being the very creative and innovative people we are, we have fashioned other ways of expressing our fear of moving forward – aka ‘excuses’! Now I realize it is sometimes challenging set aside that fear emotional experience with which we have become so comfortable; then again, I would ask: How has that been working for you? What if, for just a moment, we acknowledge the fear emotion for what it really is – an emotion, a state of feeling; a conscious mental reaction. And guess what! Fear is not the only emotion – there is joy, fulfillment, delight, passion, belief…

OK. You have this ‘fear emotion’. And, now Coach asks the question: which is more interesting to you: staying where you are with your fear emotion, or looking at the possibility of creating an action that will take you one step closer to your joy emotion, to fulfillment emotion in your dreams and goals? Which is more interesting to you?

The life you want to live, the person you want to be, the legacy you want to leave is right there…on the other side of the fear emotion. Are you ready…are you willing?

What would it be like to experience with clarity, focus, ease and gratitude all the things that make this life the one you want to live? Connect with me – together, we will take that first small sweet step to the other side of fear.

My Dear Friend Change  100415

Change is a word that often brings a sense of fear to folks. I don’t think I ever quite understood that. Change, for me is a curiosity – a thought of all the possibilities. Oh, don’t get me wrong! There have certainly been changes in my life that have caused me dread, alarm and panic!

Nevertheless, once I step back and have a moment to see the circumstance rationally, 98% of the time, I am able to shift from ‘fear’ to ‘curious’ – a much more exciting place to be!

In the past four months I have taken the opportunity to bring into play changes that make my head spin as I reflect on what has transpired!

In June, I exited the corporate world, a company I had called ‘home’ for 20 years and a position I loved. What comes with this is losing daily touch with the family I had come to know and some that I had pretty much raised! Change in relationships.

In July, I officially retired. Retirement…sounds lovely! Yes, shifting from one daily routine to something new, something I choose – that is exciting! Creating that new and much less structured routine was an experiment in will-power! I must also mention that in July, our house was on the market and sold – so good news is we have a sale…not so good news is we have no place to go! July was also when my eldest son became critically ill (near death) and a sudden trip to Louisiana was arranged. Thankfully, he has pulled through and returned home in September. The end of July brought one more trip – to Colorado Springs in hopes of finding a home.

Ahh…the ‘dog days of August’… normally a time to relax in the sun and laze in the last days of summer. Not this year! Not for me! August brings more moving boxes, more packing and creating final memories of California. My sisters arrive from Illinois to support my journey to Colorado. Pack the moving van, pack the cars, final good-byes and off we go. Two days driving with two cars, four women and three cats – now that is an adventure! Three weeks at an extended-stay while my best-friend/roommate and I settle into Colorado living preparing for our house to close. I am wondering when the time comes for what I had dreamed retirement would look like!

No ‘retiring’ in September either! Now we have 190 boxes to unpack, find a place for our treasures – some found their way to a new Goodwill box – furnish rooms and discover our new neighborhood. Where to shop? What are the Colorado rules of the road? What do I need to do to get a new driver’s license and license plates? Oh, I need to register to vote. Who is my new doctor and where the heck is her office? Take a breath…take a look around…

It is now October. The leaves are changing and the weather is chilled. I am creating a new routine – rise in the morning, relaxing breakfast and head to my home-office. Write on my website, update and create new programs to support others in their journey, reach out to new clients and discover my new State and all it has to offer.

It was not chance that created this dream I am now living. It was my dear friend ‘change’. It is the choices I make, the friends and family and even strangers who encourage and support me. Life gets better by change – by making the choice and facing the challenge. By dreaming the dream and creating the possibilities.

Go ahead – – you can do it – – life is beautiful!