Monica J. Griffith

Three Simple Rules 072816

Sometimes, when I feel ‘stuck’, I come back to these three simple rules. When I am truthful with myself, I clearly see that my stuckness is, in fact, my failure to move forward!

Rule #1. IF you do not GO after what you want, you’ll never have it. Well, that makes sense. What do I expect – it to just drop from the sky for me? That has not been working so well! What does it mean: GO after what you want? For me, it means first to be very clear about the ‘it’. To define, visualize, write it down, share with someone who will encourage me, do something physical to move toward to the it. Once I see the it in physical reality, I know that I am taking an action – doing the GO – to make it happen.

Rule #2. If you do not ASK, the answer will always be NO. That is pretty clear. This rule is all about possibilities. One of my favorite questions is this: What would it be like if… Now, the problem with that is most often people go straight to the negative (all the hard or bad things that could happen and why it won’t work). I think it is important to get those off-putting conversations out of the way. You know, all the reasons/excuses as to why what you want can’t happen or won’t work. And when that inventory of reasons/excuses is exhausted – my next comment is: All that being said…what IF…what are the possibilities IF you did (whatever it is you want to do)… Who could you ask about… Now we are talking about what could be and beginning to broaden our vision to those who may well be a contribution. Even practicing aloud what the questions might sound like!

Rule #3. If you do not STEP FORWARD, You’ll always be in the SAME Place. Here it comes…but it’s too hard or too big or too much… How great is it that what you are doing is big! Perhaps your journey seems long, hard or big. That is okay! When we are up to something ‘big’ it is something that has meaning and relevance in our lives. It matters! So, how do we get out of the stuckness that is keeping us in the same place? Oh my friend, we move forward one small, sweet step at a time. It is taking that big idea, dream or vision and creating small, sweet goals or targets. And by small, I mean something you can take action (do) in just a few hours or a few days. The secret to this rule is to see a success and acknowledge your accomplishments along the way!

Let me pull the Three Simple Rules together and give you an example: have you ever been around a baby learning to GO from crawling to walking? She likely rocked back and forth, finally pulling herself up with the help of a table or chair or pet dog! Do you recall how determined, yet perhaps frightened she looked up at you as if to ASK – how does this work? I see others doing it and I want to do it, but it looks so hard! With each tiny, unsteady STEP, did you not smile, maybe clap, and somehow encourage this wee tot to keep going? Did the baby walk across the room the first time she stood on her own? Probably not! She took one step, then another, and another. She most likely fell many times! And, she got back up and tried again. Did you take her little hands and help her balance? When she took two or three steps (even with your help), did you celebrate her? And now, a few months – or years later – is she walking on her own – maybe even running?

All this after clearly seeing where she wanted to GO, she reached out to ASK for support or help and then she began to move FORWARD, taking a few small, sweet steps! What makes your idea, dreams, and vision so different from this little one’s goal?